Monday, August 19, 2013

*cactus dancing up palm*

Michele R. Strüb
All Rights Reserved
19 August 2013

Sunday, August 11, 2013

*hot breasts*

I remember, as a young girl, the day I was told I could no longer play outside [those hot summer days...] without a shirt on. It was the day my sense of equality was birthed, shattered and borne.

My eyes trailed after my little boy friends going off on their own, free bared backs catching the sun.

I turned and made my way home to cover what was not so different from theirs.

"It's not fair, Mommy..."

~ "I know honey, you'll have to get used to it."

I never did.

Michele R. Strüb
All Rights Reserved
11 August 2013

Friday, August 9, 2013

*thoughts and tech trauma*

I've called Network Solutions [one of my website/business email hosts] on too many occasions to report that I'm being overwhelmed with spam. One rep said, "Oh! You just need to change your password; then you won't get anymore spam!" I thought, "Bullshit, you don't know what you're talking about". So I said, "okay, thanks", and hung up...why waste my time when what I needed was a tech support guru? Several  phone calls later with no *real* assistance, no gurus, and emails piling up three deep [bartender reference], I started moving emails to the spam folder, but their program wouldn't let me move more than three at a time without crapping out and popping up messages that I'd timed out...

So, I had 200 SINGLE emails to move the crap folder...

After I labored over about a hundred of them, logging back in about as many times [it seemed], I was exhausted and pissed [angry, for my UK friends], and for a woman like me, with near infinite patience [I looked after my mother for 17 years], I thought, "Screw this! I'm changing the contact info on the website to my gmail account."

I scrubbed Network Solutions from my mind. 

That was a few weeks ago. 

Tonight I figured I'd go in and see if any improvements had been made...
*492* EMAILS, and ALL SPAM. 

Okay that's it, I thought, "I'm DONE with Network Solutions, they've given me none...

But I took another look at some of the subject fields to make sure there were no relevant messages, when one caught my eye:

"HealthNutritionNews...Do you POOP enough?"

... and I thought, "Well, yes, until now, and it's going to take a lot of effort to get rid of all the bullshit I've eaten, thanks to Network Solutions."

Monday, August 5, 2013

*beware the cat out of bag

A revolution is afoot. 

Spanning our world, the word is out; cat out of bag. People [and I confess, I am one of them] are uniting in fellowship, dutifully mourning the recent prediction: extinction of *our kind*.

Kinships are being formed and plans are being made for mass procreation. Oh, that I could have given my uterus for the cause, it would have been an honor!

Fucking Genocide.
Ruining the last couple of happy days for staunch Redheads everywhere.


*especially the ginger, s/he may scratch your eyes out.

Michele R. Strüb 
All Rights Reserved
5 August 2013